NEED COFFEE!

If you saw me this morning, you would think to yourself, "she needs this"...

And you would be right, I need at least that!
House full of coughing last night, myself included and I am
E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D!!!!
I think it is all allergy related because the Hubs has no signs of it and mine and Monkey's has been improving with allergy meds but Peanut refuses to take any medication, except chewable vitamins...hmmm I wonder if there is chewable allergy tabs in his small of a dose...mental note to look into it (that I will soon forget I am sure):) His little cough will serve as a reminder today, oh yeah and every time I think of my level of exhaustion, especially while riding the bike at the gym today...Maybe I should rethink this training schedule and do the bike on Monday, then I may-be more likely to do the spin class because come Friday, after working out all week, I am too chicken to join a spin class that will most likely cause me to drop dead from exhaustion or worse cause me to puke in front of a class full of people, mortifying enough to cause me to drop dead too...ok enough rambling about my exhaustion and I will be back on later to share a recipe and to do some 40 day challenge catch-up blogging...I have been a busy bloggin bee the last couple days, my private family blog was a little behind as well... :)

Over-reacting...as per usual of me!

So Monkey made a comment this morning that his teacher was taking each of the kids out to do special stuff with shaped and colored blocks...so maybe I freaked about that comment in her note too much. It just goes to show how much I lack trust in the public school system, can you blame me with all the stories out there about bad experiences. I want to hear some good experiences; maybe it will restore my faith, a little :) Anyone got some good stories for me?

Public School, Only Three Weeks In...need I say more?

Monkey is now in the Public School Early Intervention Services and I am grateful that we live somewhere that provides that but he has only been going for almost three weeks and I am already having daily anxiety...maybe it is the defensive Mom in me or I have been poisoned by the "water" after reading so many other Moms' struggles with special education in the public school systems. I was thinking I was getting myself all prepared for it by doing the Wrights Law course on Advocating for your special needs child but nothing has prepared me for the emotional rollercoaster I have been on for the last three weeks. I feel like at every turn his teacher is questioning me about his symptoms, and things I have reported him doing versus what she sees in class. I just don't get it, we have had three independent evaluations done and they all came to the same conclusion. He is on the Spectrum, where on the spectrum is still not fully diagnosed, the Doc is leaning towards Asperger’s, the School Board Evaluators said Very High Functioning ASD, with no developmental delays in his intellectual levels and the Florida Center said Sensory Processing Disorder and possible ASD (pending further evaluations from the Neuro Doc, see his conclusion above) Anyway, after all that I now have a teacher that feels like blaming my parenting for his behaviors...huh? Didn't I play the blame game for years, frustrated and confused why Super Nanny's tactics didn't work, researching every possible discipline technic I could find and trying it with no consistent results. It was a nightmare and a confusing nightmare at that. After his diagnosis I terrified but in some ways relieved because I now had an explanation for so many things I had questioned for some many years! So I immediately put him on the gluten free and low dairy diet and saw improvements, then I added some vitamins and dietary supplements and continued to see improvements but the tantrums, fixations, repetitive behaviors, delays in speech, delay in social interactions and sensory problems are still there, just not all to the same degree that they were before. Does that mean he is any less on the spectrum? I make a few diet changes and I see improvements in a few of those areas and suddenly there is cause for questioning the previous diagnosis...isn't the point of these changes to see improvements? My four year old still does not initiate play with his peers or stay engaged with his peers for very long. He has been there for three weeks and for the first two weeks he did not know a single kid's name in his class. Last week he finally came home saying one kid's name because it was his birthday that day. And two days ago he remembered another kid's name because they are riding the bus together. Isn't that delayed for a 4, almost 5 yr. old? The Teacher tells me after two days that she sees no sensory issues, she says she walked around the classroom making loud noises and he had no reaction, well then she should come over to my house when I turn on the vacuum without warning him or during a thunderstorm. Or how about she come over and try to cut his hair or nails for me?! UGH, so infuriating! After having these things brought up on only the second day of school I have lost a lot of trust in her. I feel like she is out to question everything and I find myself questioning all her actions. So my point of this rant is she sent a note home today saying "I had to test with him-not finished yet but doing well" And because I lack trust in her and feel like she is questioning everything I of course jump to conclusions, are you retesting him again? Are you trying to get him out of this early intervention program, is he going to be robbed of the early intervention services he deserves because this teacher decided he doesn't need them? All I know is I have been documenting everything, because I am super paranoid and frustrated with this experience and it has not been all I had hoped for :(

MIA and a Tri

I have been MIA again and I am sorry for that, I have gotten off schedule and had a busy couple months. I will be blogging my 40 day challenge still because I did do it, just didn't get the blogging part done. I now have a new (to me) laptop I got for Mother's Day so I can sit in the living room and blog while my little one plays (yes that was not plural on purpose, Monkey is in school now) SO much to catch up on so much to vent about, I just don't even know where to begin...UGH! That is what I get for not making the time to blog anymore and allowing life to get too busy for me time again. Am I the only one who struggles with this? I get in a groove and then one of the kids gets sick or decides they want to get up earlier and it throws everything off and I am so focused on getting routine back I forget about me (and my blog) :(
I have managed to make workout time again for me since Monkey started school. In fact I am training for a mini tri...call me crazy but I am kind of excited about it!

Mostly cause I am going to look like this by October....HAHAHAHAHAHA! Maybe after several trips to the plastic surgeon :)


Actually in all honesty I really just need some kind of goal to work towards rather than working out just to lose weight. I have been doing that for a year and in some ways I feel better but in others the weight loss has highlighted some very unhappy side effects of pregnancy and made me realize the only way i will ever wear a tight shirt again is with spanks (too hot in FL for that) or a tummy tuck. A bit discouraging since I am not too sure about the idea of plastic surgery. I need to learn to embrace my new "Mommy" body and move on so my new focus is to push this body beyond what I have ever done before in my life. I was going to do a half marathon last March but the training time was too short and so I gave up on it. I felt terrible about giving up but I was SO NERVOUS about running that far without proper training. This Tri is months away so I have plenty of time to prepare and I pretty comfortable with the different legs versus a big long run, running is not really my forte. I am super comfortable with the swim because I was a distance swimmer in High School and the swim is just a half mile...no biggie (lol), the bike ride I am not so comfortable with but I have lots of time to work on that and the run is only a 5k which is short enough that I have complete faith I can pull it off with some good training behind me. SO far my training has been mostly "running" to work on my cardio, but this week I started what I feel will be my training for the rest of the time: Monday-Run/Elliptical, Tuesday-Muscle Works Class (not really part of the training but it is part of my regular workout regimen and I am not ready to let it go yet cause I love it, maybe when we get closer to the tri I will have to give it up to get better prepared) Wednesday-Swim, Thursday-Muscle Works Class, Friday-Bike/Spin Class and hoping to get out for a Bike ride at least once over the weekend, depending on our schedule. I think this will be a good start and after I get back from my trip over the summer I will take it all to the next level for 6 weeks to really be prepared. Oh yes and I am trying to do yoga every night to relax my tired muscles and continue to get some prayer time in every night :)
More to come soon!

Day 9 Part 1 Satan's Negative Thoughts

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." II Corinthians 10:5

Today's devotional spoke of Satan's ability to get us at our weakest through our negative thoughts. Kathy Medina reflected on her long list of negative thoughts she has had over the many years that she has been caring for her now 9 year old Autistic Son. It made me reflect and think of all the negative thoughts I have had or still have.

What am I doing wrong?...I should have put him in school sooner, maybe he would make friends like his peers at church, it is all my fault he is going to be socially awkward....I am not equipped to handle this....I am a bad Mom, that is why he is disobedient....Why do I look like the circus act at the supermarket?...People are judging you, that is why they are stareing....I am neglectful of Peanut because Monkey is so much work....He is really fine and a typical child, I am just a bad parent.

It is amazing how quickly you can fall into these horrible feelings by just reflecting on them. My heart was racing and all the fear and anxiety of these thoughts cam flooding back when I was making this list. I had to spend a lot of time praying and reflecting to get out of this space. And then I remembered a verse that I had read the other night and it gave me comfort.

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8

God is my great counselor and he will guide me through this maze that will so easily destroy me if I allow Satan in. I just need to cling to God and his great plan for my family!

Day 8 Part 2....SO CONFUSED!

This Section of The Autism Sourcebook was the most difficult so far. It was about making the right decisions on treatment options. I am not sure why it was so confusing, it wasn't like it was all about the specific options but it seemed to navigate awkwardly and there was a lot of scientific data on early intervention that was a bit all over the place and in some areas she seemed to be addressing the what ifs rather than the facts. I don't know but the conclusion was that Early Intervention is best...which I already knew...

The part that I did find VERY helpful was "Knowing what to ask in your search for Treatments"

This is my condensed version of her section about asking questions.

1. Ask the Professional to explain the treatment in simple terms
2. Ask if you can observe a session
3. Ask what kind of results they have gotten from this treatment
4. Ask if there is a scientific study backing this treatment, make sure it was a controlled study done by real scientists and it was done by an outside agency
5. Make sure your child's whole "Team"(doctors, therapists and specialists) is on the same page and believe that all the treatments will work together.
6. Ask about your involvement level in the treatment (it should be pretty high, if they do not want you involved much you may question it)
7. How do they measure your child's progress, how often do they re-evaluate.

The last part of the section I skipped because it was about choosing a special school for your child. Which I will most likely not be doing for our son. If we do end up going that route at some point I will look back at that info.

I will share that we have stuck to mostly "natural" diet change treatments thus far and seen some improvements in his appetite and behaviors.(see my "Caring 4 Him" page) And we always know when he has had gluten or been without his "special juice" because his behaviors rear their ugly head more often then what has become "normal" for us.

Recipe Share...oops forgot what day it was!

YUM YUM YUM More Holiday Goodies


Today's Recipe is Gluten Free Gingerbread Cookies

Ingredients:

1 3/4 cup gluten free flour
1 1/2 tsp xanthum gum
1/2 tsp Cream of Tarter
1/8 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp ginger
1/8 tsp. cloves
1/2 tsp cinnamon

1/2 cup cold butter

1/2 cup brown sugar
1 cold egg (like you would have a warm egg LOL)
1/2 cup Molasses

Combine dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl and mix well
Cut in butter
Combine sugar, egg and molasses in a smaller bowl and beat until well mixed and add to dry ingredients and butter mixture.

Bake 12 min at 350 degrees