Public School, Only Three Weeks In...need I say more?

Monkey is now in the Public School Early Intervention Services and I am grateful that we live somewhere that provides that but he has only been going for almost three weeks and I am already having daily anxiety...maybe it is the defensive Mom in me or I have been poisoned by the "water" after reading so many other Moms' struggles with special education in the public school systems. I was thinking I was getting myself all prepared for it by doing the Wrights Law course on Advocating for your special needs child but nothing has prepared me for the emotional rollercoaster I have been on for the last three weeks. I feel like at every turn his teacher is questioning me about his symptoms, and things I have reported him doing versus what she sees in class. I just don't get it, we have had three independent evaluations done and they all came to the same conclusion. He is on the Spectrum, where on the spectrum is still not fully diagnosed, the Doc is leaning towards Asperger’s, the School Board Evaluators said Very High Functioning ASD, with no developmental delays in his intellectual levels and the Florida Center said Sensory Processing Disorder and possible ASD (pending further evaluations from the Neuro Doc, see his conclusion above) Anyway, after all that I now have a teacher that feels like blaming my parenting for his behaviors...huh? Didn't I play the blame game for years, frustrated and confused why Super Nanny's tactics didn't work, researching every possible discipline technic I could find and trying it with no consistent results. It was a nightmare and a confusing nightmare at that. After his diagnosis I terrified but in some ways relieved because I now had an explanation for so many things I had questioned for some many years! So I immediately put him on the gluten free and low dairy diet and saw improvements, then I added some vitamins and dietary supplements and continued to see improvements but the tantrums, fixations, repetitive behaviors, delays in speech, delay in social interactions and sensory problems are still there, just not all to the same degree that they were before. Does that mean he is any less on the spectrum? I make a few diet changes and I see improvements in a few of those areas and suddenly there is cause for questioning the previous diagnosis...isn't the point of these changes to see improvements? My four year old still does not initiate play with his peers or stay engaged with his peers for very long. He has been there for three weeks and for the first two weeks he did not know a single kid's name in his class. Last week he finally came home saying one kid's name because it was his birthday that day. And two days ago he remembered another kid's name because they are riding the bus together. Isn't that delayed for a 4, almost 5 yr. old? The Teacher tells me after two days that she sees no sensory issues, she says she walked around the classroom making loud noises and he had no reaction, well then she should come over to my house when I turn on the vacuum without warning him or during a thunderstorm. Or how about she come over and try to cut his hair or nails for me?! UGH, so infuriating! After having these things brought up on only the second day of school I have lost a lot of trust in her. I feel like she is out to question everything and I find myself questioning all her actions. So my point of this rant is she sent a note home today saying "I had to test with him-not finished yet but doing well" And because I lack trust in her and feel like she is questioning everything I of course jump to conclusions, are you retesting him again? Are you trying to get him out of this early intervention program, is he going to be robbed of the early intervention services he deserves because this teacher decided he doesn't need them? All I know is I have been documenting everything, because I am super paranoid and frustrated with this experience and it has not been all I had hoped for :(