"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." II Corinthians 10:5
Today's devotional spoke of Satan's ability to get us at our weakest through our negative thoughts. Kathy Medina reflected on her long list of negative thoughts she has had over the many years that she has been caring for her now 9 year old Autistic Son. It made me reflect and think of all the negative thoughts I have had or still have.
What am I doing wrong?...I should have put him in school sooner, maybe he would make friends like his peers at church, it is all my fault he is going to be socially awkward....I am not equipped to handle this....I am a bad Mom, that is why he is disobedient....Why do I look like the circus act at the supermarket?...People are judging you, that is why they are stareing....I am neglectful of Peanut because Monkey is so much work....He is really fine and a typical child, I am just a bad parent.
It is amazing how quickly you can fall into these horrible feelings by just reflecting on them. My heart was racing and all the fear and anxiety of these thoughts cam flooding back when I was making this list. I had to spend a lot of time praying and reflecting to get out of this space. And then I remembered a verse that I had read the other night and it gave me comfort.
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8
God is my great counselor and he will guide me through this maze that will so easily destroy me if I allow Satan in. I just need to cling to God and his great plan for my family!