I have stopped posting for awhile...there really has not been any news to report and I have been feeling discouraged because everything is moving very slow until the last couple weeks but even with that there is nothing more for another few weeks. I will post the update in my "Where are we?" Tab after I finish this post.
I had decided a few months ago I was changing the direction of this blog a little. I wanted to infuse my faith more because it is a huge part of my life but once I decided to make that more of a focus I was at a loss, I didn't know what to write anymore. The truth is I have been relying mostly on Therapists and Doctors and not at all on God, when it comes to my Son, and that is where I have been going wrong. This revelation hit me while my Husband and I were vacationing in Jan. (We won a fabulous trip to St. Lucia from his company) I got a disturbing e-mail three days into the trip from my Sis-in-Law, who was caring for our kids. She was having a really difficult time with our little Monkey, he was becoming aggressive and and at times uncontrollable and she was overwhelmed. My biggest fear and the reason I cried when I left my kids was coming true...I realized that my life really was going to be different, when other parents' biggest concerns are that there kids will cry for them and miss them, mine will always be will this untrained family member or friend be up for the challenge of taking on my kid... I knew I was on this Island in the Caribbean and I couldn't get back for 4 more days so I was left with no choice but to turn to God and pray for my Boys and my Sister-in-Law and that was when I realized I had not done that enough when it came to my Son. Sure, in my desperate moments when I think it is all too much and he is having an uncontrollable tantrum, I often lock myself in a bathroom and cry and pray but that is always a quick prayer of desperation "God, please make him stop, I can't take anymore today!" I have never taken the time in my Bible reading or studies to just focus on this major issue in our lives. It seems so crazy to me now but I think I was so focused on what the medical research had to offer to comfort me, that I lost sight of the one place in my life I have always felt true comfort and HOPE!
So, here I am with a new focus for 40 days...
Finding God in Autism by Kathy Medina…the only Christian Devotional (I could find) for parents with ASD Children. And of course God knows my heart and led me to this one because it offers a challenge in the intro and he knows I need that to stay focused. Kathy Medina, the author, started this devotional because of her own 40-day challenge she placed on herself.
Hers was 3 part and they were things she knew would be difficult to do but that only strengthened her commitment:
1. “First, I promised to read my Bible every single day. Seven days a week and reading in church on Sunday did not count! I committed to having a personal study with God every single day for forty days.”
2. “Second, I committed to laying hands on our son and praying in my prayer language every night for forty consecutive nights. After our son was asleep, I would kneel by his bedside and pray while laying my hands on him.”
3. “Third, I committed to taking communion and remembering what Christ’s bloodshed did for me every single night for forty consecutive days.”
So in this intro she shares how God blessed her and it is amazing and truly inspiring to read so I am so excited to start this devotional! My challenge is going to have a couple more parts, I was going to try to stick to just three but I want to add a couple because I feel like I need to commit to a couple things that are not part of this devotional to make it possible for me to do this challenge. So…here it is…
1. I am committing to doing this devotional every night after the kids go to bed. I only get enough quiet time at night to get the right focus for this study. And as part of the devotional I will of course be reading my Bible as well.
2. I am committing to studying one of my reference books on Autism as well (I have a law course on special needs laws I am getting ready to start and that will be part of this challenge), once a day, after I complete my Bible time, so that I have good focus.
3. I am committing to praying over my Son every night.
4. I am committing to getting up at 6am every morning to have me time and to blog about my devotional time and study time from the night before. As part of this I am going to keep a prayer journal during my devotional times to reference and help me be a good testimate to God’s Blessings in my life now and in the future.
5. Lastly, in order to make all this possible I need to commit to finishing all my household chores during the day in order to allow my self proper time and focus at night to do my devotional and study time. I normally do most my chores at night after the kids go to bed so that I can just muscle through and get them done without interruption from the kids but both boys are big enough now that I should be able to make the time during the day to muscle through and get things done with little to no interruption, I just have not made that transition because I am too comfortable in my ways…see I needed this challenge :)
No comments:
Post a Comment